You find you dream pair of pants. Black, slim fit and light weight. Only problem though is there's a giant cum stain near the crotch!
Clean it off.
You have to bleach the crotch: this is the only solution. When someone asks what the stain on your pants is, it's just bleach.
Keep the cum stain and wear it in public to assert dominance.
You guys have it all wrong - you just need to cover the rest of the pants in similar stains so it looks like japanese urban camo techwear