wkshskshskhsks im in a real strange mood
an arnold palmer of aggravation and anxiety in lieu of refreshing lemonade and tea
but for some reason these kinds of moods really make me wanna do something, like getting active or writing or drawing, which is really nice
how do you deal with generally negative emotions? when you're sad do you listen to sad music? or do you blast yourself with fun jaunty tracks?
ive been scribbling and listening to tunes and i already better for the most part :>
I try to avoid anxiety and aggression more than negative or low moods, but only because the former is more distracting and possessive than the latter. Unfocused feelings generally take over whatever I'm trying to do - but even focused sadness, alienation, or ennui can be productive and helpful to me in some way. Usually I end up getting into ridiculously abstract worry loops and making dramatic and sad conclusions about life - but then I can see later how foolish that is and not go down that thought-path again. Western philosophy is useful as kindling for this fire. Sometimes I feel like Charlie in [url=https://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20111207.gif\this smbc comic[/url].
Breathing exercises and mindfulness practice are what I tend to reach for when I'm feeling anxious and full of jumpy energy, and usually I will find the underlying reason for my negativity through slowing down and sharpening my view of the situation.
I'm always upset.
Some days I do nothing. I fall asleep after 4:00 after I'm done at the office.
Some days I listen to podcasts while I run outside.
Maybe go out with friends.
But I'm usually upset or frustrated with one thing or another to varying degrees.
Like today. Fuck today man.
I haven't had an americano in weeks... drinking one now feels so different :#
I try to distract myself, and see how I can fix the problem, if I can. Otherwise I'll sit in misery for a while and then move on. I'll go to church, the Divine Liturgy helps a lot.
For more than ten days I've been unreasonably anxious and upset, but it's starting to ebb away now...
Last Wednesday I quit my job by email because it stresses me out a lot, and makes me feel sick.
Sleeping and eating has been hard, and I haven't done much but drugs and magic all day.
Today will be different.